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block them, delete their number, change the way, do not frequent the same places, forget those conversations. this is not childish, sometimes it is necessary. choose yourself.
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savage-words
~ What 2018 Taught Me~
I have known pain. Intimately. Every kind. I’d be lying if I said I’m walking out unscathed. I have scars in places that no one will ever see. I have known loss. Every morning I wake up new. I take a moment to mourn the me of yesterday. She was younger. I don’t prolong this however; though her innocence was kind, her metamorphosis had just begun. For that, I am grateful. I have known aching and longing. I see shadows dance in the empty corners of daydreams. I hear soft music like a whispered memory. Night is accompanied by visions of what it might feel like for you to finally hold me. For this, I am thankful too. I have learned that love doesn’t hurt. We do. I still see blue when I close my eyes, and I allow myself to smile when I think of you. I’ve always wanted what I can’t have, why should this be different? This year has carried hardship like a surname, wrapped depression into a ribbon and each night I found it tightening around my neck. I cried more than I thought was humanly possible. I loved more than I thought was humanly possible. And as it comes to an end, I want to thank it for allowing every excruciating experience; my soul is heavier now, but not with burden. Simply, with the new found ability to understand what all those authors meant when they said love wasn’t something that could be contained to written word. You’ve allowed me to feel it.
~My Hope for 2019~
I have so much to learn. So many new people to fall in love with, and places to memorize. I hope to leave hate and jealousy in 2018. I hope to stop viewing my sisters as enemies, and to appreciate beauty even if it is different than mine. I hope to smile more, and mean it. Laugh until breathing seems like a distant memory. I hope to fall in love with every aspect of myself. I hope my soul can find rest. I hope my insecurities die slowly, so I can watch as they quietly release their hold on me. I hope if I find someone whom I can finally call mine-our love be all-consuming. I don’t want to miss a single moment. I hope I make more time for my mental health. I hope the skeletons in my closet learn to dance to the sound of my overwhelming happiness. I hope I am not so judgmental and harsh. I hope I continue to realize that, though it is undeniable this fire inside of me is dangerous, warmth is beautiful and heat is purifying. I hope I do not settle. I hope I forgive and forget. I know that is controversial, but I want to leave no room for malice in my heart. I hope what is meant to be, will come to pass, and I will find peace with what is not. Above all, I hope I dive head first into every new opportunity, adventure, love, and experience I can, and I hope I never stop learning.
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written and submitted by @abbyharris578